#[ rather than being killed though i'd say she's more so scared of something happening to whoever she wants to protect ]

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

You're in the hospital part 2 (Paul x f!reader)

Part 1 (summary of part 1 is down here)

After waking up and finding you gone, Paul learns that you've been held hostage, injured and that you are now at the hospital.

________________________________

The beeping was probably what bothered you the most, never ending, high-pitched. You knew it was a necessity. You knew they needed it to make sure you were doing okay. But still - you sighed, turning again.

"Can't sleep?"

Paul had just walked in, being forced to leave earlier when the sun had come up.

"It's the noise," You looked at him, "I swear I'd rather do anything else than to hear that thing beep once more."

"Even listen to David's speech again?"

"Yes."

Paul chuckled, shaking his head. "I'm glad that thing's beeping."

"Why?"

"Because when you weren't home yesterday, and this old lady at the boardwalk told me something about a hostage situation and three people dead, I was terrified you were one of them. Then I got here, and that thing was beeping, and even though I didn't know what exactly happened to you, at least you were still alive."

You were quiet. You hadn't yet realised that the others were dead. Mary, who had tried to safe some customers. Frank, who had immediately given into the demands and given them money. Ashley, who had just started that day, being terrified out of her mind. And even though they had done everything the robbers had asked for, somehow they still didn't do enough. People got killed. Your coworkers - some even friends got killed. And what shocked you most of all, was the decleration that Paul had been terrified. He couldn't be terrified, he wasn't. Not ever. He was always just him, happy and joyful and joking in every situation.

"I didn't want to get hurt... I didn't want to scare you."

"Babe, of course you didn't - fucking hell." He kissed you softly, careful not to touch any of your injuries. "Fuck, you shouldn't feel guilty for scaring me! Absolutely not."

"I had a bad feeling."

Paul looked at you, waiting for you to continue.

"When I woke up. I didn't know why or what would happen, but something in my gut told me I should have stayed home."

"Promise me you'll stay home the next time your gut is screaming at you?"

You smiled softly, nodding. "Pinky promise."

"Good. The others are worried as well by the way."

"Yeah?"

"Marko wanted to come, but David thought it better to let you heal a bit first."

"That's thoughtful."

"Yeah, well, it was mainly because if Marko came, so would Dwayne, and he would take Laddie with him, and then Star had to come as well and then David had to come, and we would all be kicked out of the hospital before we even arrived at your room."

"Why? Would you steal bloodbags? Flirt with the people in the elderly ward? I mean, they're closer to your age I suppose, so I can imagine that happening-"

"Marko definitely would, but you keep forgetting that I don't have eyes for anyone but you."

You giggled, only to immediately cry out.

"Babe?"

"My stomach," You hissed, curling into yourself. "Please, make it stop..."

Paul ran into the hallway and not a minute later a nurse ran in, treating your stomach. "I have to replace the bandages, alright? I can't give you any painmeds until we are done because I need you to be able to react when I check if everything is still stitched up correctly."

"Stitched up? I - what happened here then?" You whimpered.

"The doctor has visited yet?" The nurse looked shocked and then angry on your behalf. "That foolish idiot, I'm so sorry dear, this was not supposed to happen. I'll check your wound and then we'll talk, alright?"

You nodded, trying to stay as still as possible during her treatment, breathing a breath of relief when she gave you some painkillers.

"What happened to her?" Paul asked, having moved next to you on the bed and letting you lean against him.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"The woman. She held a gun to my face, saying I shouldn't dare to move, and then someone pushed her, I think? I - I don't know anything after. Not really, just screams and bright lights and pain," You said quietly.

"You were shot twice, both times in your stomach," the nurse said, "we were able to get both bullets out and to repair the damage done. You have to stay here for at least another week before we can even talk about letting you go home. We need to make sure that everything is healing up properly and that you're not over exerting yourself. What just happened was you accidentally ripping your stitches. So please be careful, alright?"

"Is there really no way of going home earlier?" Your voice sounded smaller than you had in mind.

"No. We need to be sure you're healthy enough. Even though your fiance will probably do everything he can to assist you, we can't risk you re-injuring yourself. You seem like a lovely lady, but I'd rather not see you in a hospital bed again."

With those words the nurse left, causing you to look at Paul.

"Fiance, hm?"

"It was easier to say that than to explain mates to the clerk."

"No need to apologise, " You yawned, " I quite like the sound of it." You turned a little, careful not to move to much, until you laid comfortably in his lap.

"You're going to sleep?"

You nodded, smiling softly as you felt a blanket being wrapped around you.

"Sleep tight, babe."

________________________

Taglist: @catswonderland

[recreationalfanfics]

Yandere Adventure + Yandere Femme Fatale: Trying to Escape Them

tw: yandere, obviously. Drugging the reader. Murder (not towards the reader). Manipulation (Let me know if I forgot anything!).

Yandere Adventurer/ Jesse Reeves:

- Considering that he's escaped many death traps before, he is a very skilled escaped artist who will use that knowledge to ensure that you won't really have a way to leave him.

- The same traps he has to escape from are the same traps he will use from you. From the typical darts in the walls to the disguised pit in the ground covered with leaves and foliage, to a giant stone ball you have to run from before it crushes you. Not that he'll let that happen, he'll obviously rush to save you and be your hero.

- Taking care of any injuries you sustained, he'll scold you about being more careful with yourself and say that's the reason why you need to stay with him because if you can't get across a snake pit, how will you ever take care of yourself in the real world? You just roll your eyes and shake your head.

- Let's say you've been training to beat all of his traps, though. You appeal to his ego and ask him to tell him stories about how his adventures, tricking him into telling you stories about how he got past those traps, and everytime he has to save you and scold you, you're making mental notes to yourself and one big day, you manage to escape.

- He's not sure if he's impressed or angry because on one hand thats pretty hot but on the other hand, that's really concerning because it means that he can't leave you by yourself as much anymore and he'll have to replace his traps.

- As for tracking you down, it is really not that hard honestly. Even if you managed to be thorough enough to cover your trail, it's literally his job to find things that aren't able to be found. From stalking you, he's aware of all the places you'd want to go and all of the places that you're naturally drawn too. He'll know enough about you to also know how long you'd be able to run before you'd need to rest. Not to mention that due to his adventures, he has many contacts over the world and knows many shady people who are willing to do anything for the right fee.

- You'd have at least 2 days before he finds you. Maybe half a day if you're lucky. When you go into the temporary hotel room you're staying in, the door suddenly closes behind you and Jesse leans against his flicking his hat up. His lips are giving you a tight-lipped smile and his eyes are silently mocking you, clearly amused that you believed you could actually escape him.

- "Aw, darlin', if ya wanted an adventure, ya could'a just asked! When your better behaved, I'd be more than tickled ta take ya anywhere ya want. But adventure's over now, its time to go home."

Yandere Femme Fatale/ Scarlette Le Claire:

- She'd rather not kidnap you in general but if you force her too, you will not escape her clutches that easily. She will contact her father and he will send some of his men to gaurd her apartment where she keeps you locked up in, their harsh training makes it easy for them to ignore your pleas.

- However even if you manage to get past them, they are not allowed to put a hand on you, they must notify her immediately. If she finds you and sees any bruises on you or injuries, she'll make sure that whoever does so pays.

- She is a little delusional. Why would her cœur ever run away from her? You must've gotten scared by something, she can make the guardsmen where something less threatening than black suits like maybe onesies or cute fluffy mascot outfits to put you at ease! Even if you do say it's your idea, she wouldn't be able to understand that because you'd have no reason to leave her. Someone must've influenced you!

- If you want avoid a bloodbath, try to keep your distance from other people. Anyone who helps aid you will be taken care of so they can't identify you. She won't ever tell you about her killings, she'd hate for you to worry your pretty little head about it, but one night she comes home covered in blood but she assures you it's fake, awkwardly coming up with a lie that you pretend to believe out of fear.

-Deep down, she knows you're trying to leave her and that you're scared of her. That's why she doesn't ever approach you straight away, instead, she'll pour some sleeping powder in your drink or something and when you finally begin to feel it's effects, your eyes are fighting to stay awake when you see her handsomely dressed figure walk towards you.

- You black out as you feel her gloved hand on your face, her touch caressing you softly as her eyes stare at you adoringly. You looked so peaceful and precious like this♡

- "Such perfection. Il est temps de rentrer à la maison, mon cœur.♡"

[mandos-mind-trick]

Here's To The Future - Part 5: Battle Scars

Summary: The war’s over. That should be cause for celebration, except the wrong side won. Things begin to change quickly, and it doesn’t take long for Midnight to realize something’s not right among the clone army. She should be glad the war is over, but the threat of her losing her boys is all too real. She did swear she would do everything she could to keep them from being separated when the war ended.

She’s not going to give up on that promise. Even if it kills her.

Pairing: The Bad Batch x reader (no clonecest)

Warnings: NSFW, smut, fingering, violence, emotions, inhibitor chips

A/N: Yes, I skipped ahead a bit, but I'd rather focus on the big plot points instead of dragging you through stuff you already know.

We're getting to the big climax now. This one's not too bad, but the next couple are going to be pretty heavy, so please prepare yourselves.

Also I am incapable of not being cheesy when writing Tech scenes.

< Previous | Next > | SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

“That was fast.” Tech says as he looks up from where he’s fiddling with the ship. 

Midnight shrugs. “We didn’t need much this time. I got us some food, though.” 

“How was it?” Hunter asks, greeting them. 

“It was amazing!” Omega says excitedly. “There was a market going on and we got some fresh food and Midnight scared a guy that was following us.” 

Hunter looks up at Midnight startled by Omega’s words. “You were followed?” The others look up, their attention drawn by his worried tone. 

Midnight rolls her eyes. “Just a creep looking to shoot his shot. Don’t worry. I handled it.” 

“A man followed you?” Hunter asks, pressing her for more details. 

Midnight sighs. “I’m a beautiful woman, Hunter. Creepy men follow me all the time. It’s happened all my life.” She puts a hand on his chest. “Don’t worry. I set him straight.” 

Hunter’s jaw clenches, his hands balling into fists at his side. “I don’t like it.” 

“Well, I don’t either but unfortunately, it’s normal for me.” She stands on her toes, getting close to his face. “Don’t get jealous.” She whispers, lips brushing his for a second before she moves away. “Come eat before it gets cold.” 

Midnight and Omega’s outings have become normal as they frequent Ord Mantell more and more often. They have a good thing going with Cid, getting sent on missions and getting paid in return if they were successful. 

Nearly twenty missions now over the last few weeks. She knows the guys are feeling good being busy again. Being busy has kept her distracted too. Hard to be upset when you’re racing around the galaxy with a child. 

Midnight sits next to Echo, grabbing herself a serving. She smiles as she looks around at her boys. Hunter glances down at Omega where she’s sitting next to him every so often as she eats and talks happily with Wrecker. Tech eats with one hand, holding his datapad in the other. Echo also glances up at Omega every so often, all of them eating and enjoying this time together.

Midnight especially enjoys it, picturing all of them sitting around a dining table in their home, sharing in home cooked meals. She can’t hide the painful ache in her chest, though, at the missing space where Crosshair should be. 

***

“How much did you spend?” Hunter corners her in her room after they’ve finished eating. 

“None.” She says, putting her things away. “I used my money.” 

“I told you not to do that.” He says, stepping closer to her. 

“It’s my money, Hunter. It’s not doing us any good just sitting here.” She turns to face him. “Why won’t you let me help?” 

“I want you to save it.” 

“You’ve told me that before.” She says, putting a hand on his arm. “I have more than enough to keep us comfortable for a while. Let me help.” 

“No.” He puts his foot down. “I want you to save it in case you have to run.” 

Midnight blinks at him in surprise. She hasn’t heard this before. “What?” 

“I want you to save your money in case something happens and you and Omega have to leave.” 

“Hunter,” Midnight shakes her head. “I’m not going to-”

He holds up a hand, cutting her off. “We’ve already discussed it. It’s our newest plan. If something happens, we give you and Omega the best chance of getting to safety.”  

“Hunter, I don't want to...I can’t-” 

“It’s not a suggestion.” He says, looking at her with a hard gaze. “You have the best chance of giving her a good life.” 

“I don’t know how to be a parent, Hunter! You think just because I had a mom I know how to be one? My mom wasn’t there. She didn’t parent me. I know just as much about taking care of a kid as you do.” 

Hunter puts a hand on her shoulder. “You’re her best option. We’re all prepared to do it, if it comes to it. That’s always been part of our plans.” 

Tears blur Midnight’s vision. She hates the idea of just one of them sacrificing themselves, but the thought of all of them...she hates it. 

Hunter cups her face gently, wiping one of the tears that slides down her cheeks. “We’ll try not to need it, but we always have to be prepared for the possibility.” 

***

Midnight sits on her bed, patting a damp cloth against the wound on her arm. It was hardly more than a graze from a blaster bolt, but it still hurts. They’re all a bit battered. The latest mission had been a hard one, and also a failure. Well, not totally a failure. It had been a failure for the right reasons, but she knows Cid won’t see it that way. 

They weren’t getting paid for this one. 

It’s not that big of a deal for her, but she knows Hunter won’t be happy. 

The door to her room opens, Tech stepping inside. He doesn’t bother looking up from his datapad, moving to her side. He grabs her arm, holding the datapad up to her wound. 

“I hardly think it’s that serious, Tech.” She rolls her eyes, attempting to pull her arm away. 

“It needs to be cleaned.” He says simply, reaching into his belt for some bacta spray. 

She rises from the bed, coming to stand right in front of him. She stares up at him intensely, eyes wide. “Okay, genius.” She says.  “Then spray me.” 

Tech visibly swallows, his eyes intense as he takes her arm, spraying the bacta on her wound. 

“You sure you don’t want to check for other injuries?” She asks, taking a step back. 

“I do not think you have any more injuries.” He says, his voice wavering a bit as he goes back to his datapad.

Midnight rolls her eyes, grabbing his datapad, setting it on the bed behind her. Tech opens his mouth to complain, but he falls silent as she tugs her shirt over her head. She smirks at him, making a show of unbuttoning her pants, turning her back to him as she shimmies her pants down her legs. 

“You sure?” She asks, turning to look at him over her shoulder. “You don’t wanna be thorough? Maybe do a double check?” 

His bare hands meet her shoulders, calloused hands sliding along her skin. “Perhaps a thorough examination is necessary.” His fingers trail over her skin, raising goosebumps as they go. 

He presses close against her back as his fingers skirt around to her stomach, the plastoid on his chest cool against her skin. His hand slips into her underwear, fingers trailing through her already slick folds. 

“You’ve been waiting for this.” He says, pressing his lips against her shoulder. 

“Honestly, I would have taken any of you.” She gasps, her hips pressing against his hand. “I’ve been horny for a week now.” 

Tech hums. “That must be why your aim was off.” 

Midnight elbows him in the stomach. “Don’t be a dick...” She trails off as a finger slips inside her. She moans quietly, her hips rocking against Tech’s hand. 

“We don’t have a lot of time.” He murmurs against her neck, sucking a bruise onto her skin. 

“Make me cum and I’ll suck you off like that time after Trevath.” She says. 

He pauses for a moment, before adding a second finger inside her. “Deal.” 

His free arm wraps around her waist holding her up as he thrusts his fingers in and out of her. It’s obscene sounding from how wet she is, his mouth slotting against hers to try and quiet her moans. 

The tension had been building recently, as their now busy schedule, and a child aboard, makes it hard for them to find downtime. It’s a bit like when they were at war, either too busy or too exhausted to do much of anything. 

What she wouldn’t give to be living in a big house with lots of space and nothing to do. 

She cums quickly, soaking Tech’s fingers. He pulls them from her, shoving them into her mouth to keep her quiet. She licks his fingers clean, swirling her tongue around them. He’s already hard, his codpiece pressing rather uncomfortably against her ass. 

She turns, dropping to her knees in front of him. His codpiece comes off easily, dropping to the floor with a quiet thud. She palms the bulge in his blacks, looking up at him through her lashes. He gulps as he stares down at her, bracing one hand against the wall. 

She smirks, slowly undoing his blacks. He’s going to be the one needing to be silenced after she’s done with him. 

***

“That is one strange looking lizard.” Cid says, peeking in the cage where Ruby is being held. 

They had just arrived back on Ord Mantell after hunting down some rare lizard a contact of Cid’s wanted. It had been quite the event to get it, the Rhokai that had taken it rather unwilling to let it go so easily. 

“What’s your client want it for?” Echo asks. 

“Maybe it’s a pet. Maybe he wants to turn it into a stew. Don’t know, don’t care.” Cid says. 

“As long as you get paid.” Hunter says. 

“Now you’re catching on.” Cid says. “And guess what? That means you get paid too. Bring the lizard in the back.”

Echo grabs the cage, making his way towards Cid’s office. Tech follows, Wrecker hanging back. 

“Hunter?” Omega asks. 

“What are you two up to?” Hunter asks, turning to them. 

 “The mission’s over. Can we go?” Wrecker asks. 

“Again?” Hunter asks exasperatedly. 

“It’s a tradition.” Wrecker explains. “It makes the kid happy.” He whispers, as if she’s not standing right in front of him. 

“Uh-huh. The kid.” Hunter says knowingly, but he sighs. “Don’t take long.” 

Wrecker cheers, Omega grabbing Midnight’s wrist. “Come with us!” 

Midnight lets herself be pulled from Cid’s bar, Hunter glancing back and she offers him a shrug before she disappears out the door.

Wrecker takes her free hand, the three of them walking together. Just like a little family, making their way towards the marketplace. They lead her to a stand, Wrecker ordering three boxes of Mantell Mix. 

The lady at the stand holds her hand out expectantly, Midnight glancing at Wrecker before pulling out her credit bag. “How much?” She asks. 

“21 credits.” The woman says. 

Midnight sucks in a breath, but hands over the payment. That was a lot for the Mantell Mix. Where had Wrecker been getting the credits to pay for it? Hunter certainly doesn’t know. He would have put an end to this quite a few jobs ago. 

“Wrecker.” She asks as they make their way back towards Cid’s. “How have you been paying for this?” 

“Oh, we’ve been putting it on Cid’s tab.” He says. 

Midnight nearly chokes on her Mantell Mix. So that must have been why their cuts were getting smaller and smaller. No doubt Cid was also finding other things to charge them for wherever she could. 

“Well look who it is!” Wrecker says as they make their way down to the entrance. Midnight follows Omega in, finding Wrecker squeezing the life out of a poor reg. “Come here, Rex.” 

“Yeah. Good to see you too, Wrecker.” He says. 

“I thought you didn’t like the regs.” Omega says. 

“This one we like.” Wrecker says, spinning Rex around before setting him on his feet. 

“Omega, this is Rex.” Hunter introduces her. 

Rex drops down onto a knee, looking Omega over. “I’ve met many clones in my time, but never one like you.” 

Omega takes a couple steps closer, studying Rex’s face. “You’re a generation one.” She says.

“Now how’d you know that?” Rex asks. 

“From the lines on your face.” She answers simply. 

Midnight holds in a laugh, glad that Rex lets out a chuckle. “Yeah, I guess I’ve been around.” He says. 

“You got that right.” Wrecker says. 

Rex pushes himself to stand, looking at Midnight. “You must be Midnight.” 

Midnight stares at him in surprise. “Yes,” She says slowly. “I am.” 

“I’ve heard a lot about you.” Rex says. “You’re rather famous.” 

“I’m beginning to figure that out.” She says. 

“A nat-born surviving with a specialized clone squad. That takes a lot of skill.” 

“I’d call it more dumb luck than anything.” Midnight shrugs. 

“Yeah, you should’ve seen her when she first started.” Wrecker jokes, but he’s cut off by a groan, his hand lifting to his head. “Tech, I need one of those med patches.” 

Rex turns around, staring at Wrecker tensely. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. It’s just a headache.” Wrecker says. 

“Which are becoming more frequent.” Echo says. 

“Is that so?” Rex asks slowly. 

“If you’re concerned about the so-called inhibitor chips, don’t be.” Tech says. “Our deviant nature appears to have impeded their functionality. Except in Crosshair.” 

“You’re telling me you haven’t removed your chips?” Rex asks. 

“No, not yet.” Tech says. 

Rex takes a defensive stance in front of Omega and Midnight, his hand moving towards his blaster. Hunter stands, all of them also taking defensive stances. 

“Those chips make you a threat to everyone around you. Even her.” Rex nods back at Omega. “You’re all ticking time bombs.” 

“Take it easy, Captain.” Hunter says, moving closer as he tries to placate Rex. 

“What’s in your head is more dangerous than you can imagine. I’ve seen what happens when the chip activates, and I don’t want to bury any more of our brothers.”

Hunter deflates a bit at that, Echo and Tech sharing a look. Midnight’s stomach starts to churn a bit. She can’t stand something similar to what happened with Crosshair happening to any of them. The thought of losing another one of them makes her sick. Not to mention the danger it would present. Any of them would be deadly without their enhancements. Wrecker especially would be the most dangerous. The kind of damage he could do with no control over his strength. 

“Trust me. It is not something you can control.” Rex says. “I couldn’t. It’s a risk you do not want to take.” 

Hunter glances past Rex at Midnight and Omega. “How do you suggest we get them out?” 

Rex relaxes a bit, moving his hand from his blaster. “Good question. I’ll be in touch.” 

***

Midnight sits across from Tech as he works on his device. Omega stands next to him, happily handing him tools as he needs them. Wrecker sits next to them, tapping his foot restlessly. They’d gotten a message from Rex a day ago to head to Bracca, and that he’d meet them there. 

“I don’t like this plan.” Wrecker groans. 

“We agreed to meet Rex on Bracca.” Hunter says, walking up to them. “That’s what we’re doing.” 

“He wants to cut open my head.” Wrecker complains. 

“All of our heads, actually.” Tech says. 

“Not mine. I don’t have an inhibitor chip.” Omega says proudly. 

“Why not? Now, that’s not fair.” Wrecker complains. 

“How’s the chip scanner coming?” Hunter asks Tech. 

“Since Rex’s chip was removed, I am able to establish a baseline by comparing his brain scans to ours, allowing for the detection of any cellular anomaly.” Tech answers. 

“He means it’s almost finished.” Omega translates. 

“Do we really have to do this?” Wrecker asks. 

“If Rex is sure, we should trust him.” Hunter says. 

“Don’t worry big guy.” Midnight stands, putting a hand on Wrecker’s arm. “You’ll be fine. You probably won’t feel a thing.” 

Wrecker pouts. “But I don’t want surgery.” 

“I’ll be right there with you to kiss it better once Rex is done.” She leans against his arm. 

He stares down at her before breaking out in a grin. Midnight stands on her toes, tugging him down slightly to kiss his cheek. She’ll feel a lot better once the chips are out. She can’t stand the risk of losing another one of them. 

***

The ship enters Bracca’s atmosphere, revealing a landscape of decaying ships as far as the eye can see. 

“What is this place?” Omega asks, looking out the viewports as they come in to land. 

“A starship graveyard.” Hunter answers. 

“I’m picking up Rex’s beacon.” Echo says, flying them down to a landing place inside a ship. 

Rex’s ship is there, waiting for them as they leave the ship. 

“Right on time.” Rex says, greeting them once they’re off the ship. 

 “How’s a junk planet gonna help us?” Wrecker asks. 

Rex puts on his helmet. “Follow me.” 

The others put their helmets on as they make their way out of the decaying ship. 

“Bracca may not be much to look at, but it has exactly what we need.” Rex says, pausing and looking at a venator ship sticking up out of the rubble. “I had my inhibitor chip taken out on a Jedi cruiser just like that. That’s where we’re heading.” 

“Then why did we land all the way over here?” Wrecker complains. 

“Everyone down.” Echo says, all of them ducking as a ship flies slowly past in the distance. 

“That’s why.” Rex says. 

“It’s the Scrapper Guild.” Tech says.  

“They control this entire planet.” Rex says. “We need to keep out of sight from their patrols. Let’s move.” 

They make their way to the cruiser, staying low and moving quickly through the debris. Midnight tries to ignore the occasional loud creaking and shifting of rusted metal above them. If any piece fell, it would squish them before they could run far enough to get out of the way. 

They reach a tall ledge right on the edge of the cruiser, the others lifting themselves up easily. Tech puts his hands on her waist, boosting her up so she can get over the edge. She turns, helping him up. His touch lingers for just a moment. All of them have been on edge since the reality of their situation had been brought to light. 

“It’s much bigger up close.” Omega says, staring at the ship in awe. 

“This is an original Venator-class ship from the first batch off the line.” Rex explains to Omega. 

“First off the line, huh? Just like you, Rex.” Wrecker laughs. 

They make their way inside, walking down a decaying hallway. Rex takes the lead, lighting the way with a torch.  Echo follows right behind him. She knows he’s relieved finding out Rex is actually still alive, and being around him again. She’d heard the most about Rex when Echo talked about his past. 

“The last time I was aboard one of these it didn’t end so well.” Rex says. 

“If the inhibitor chip isn’t something you can control, how’d you get yours out?” Echo asks. 

“I had help.” Rex says, pausing just before falling into a hole in the floor. “The medical bay is at the other end.” Rex says, pointing his torch in that direction. “Wrecker, grab that cable.” He directs the giant clone, shining his light on the cable. 

“This? W-Why? W-W-What are you gonna do with it?” He asks nervously. 

They string it across the gap, all of them crawling their way down it. Midnight waits until second to last, trying to comfort the panicking Wrecker. She crawls her way down when it’s her turn, Rex helping her down once she’s reached a safe place. 

“You’re up Wrecker.” Hunter calls up to the giant clone. 

“Uh, yeah, my head doesn’t hurt anymore. I’m fine. You guys go without me.” He says. 

“You can do it!” Omega calls out. “Just keep your eyes on the cable.” 

Wrecker slowly moves to the edge, grabbing onto the cable. It bends quite a bit under his weight, Wrecker nearly falling from it. 

“That was close.” He laughs, getting himself righted seconds before the cable gives out and Wrecker falls. 

He nearly hits the water below, but the cable wraps around his ankle, holding him just above it. 

“Are you all right?” Rex calls down to him. 

“No! Smells awful down here!” He yells, trying to reach the cable. 

Something large begins to move under the water, getting close to Wrecker. 

“What’s that?” Omega asks. 

“Wrecker, start climbing!” Hunter commands. 

“Why?” Wrecker asks. 

“Hurry!” Omega yells. 

A tentacle shoots out of the water, wrapping around Wrecker and pulling him under. They all grab the cable, trying to pull against the creature. They’re almost successful, but the creature grabs onto Wrecker with more tentacles, pulling him under. 

It’s still and quiet for far too long, Midnight watching the water nervously. They’re so close. They can’t possibly lose someone else like this. 

Wrecker breaks the surface, trying to climb up the cable. The creature hangs on desperately, Echo shooting at it as its mouth breaks the water.

It does let go after a couple shots, all of them straining to help Wrecker back up onto the platform.

“What was that?” Wrecker coughs as he kneels on the platform. 

“Makes you miss battling clankers, doesn’t it?” Rex asks. 

Wrecker groans in agreement, taking a moment to collect himself. 

They make their way through the rest of the ship with little incident. This part is more intact than the rest, thankfully. It doesn't take them long to locate the med bay, door after door plastered with the medic’s symbol. Rex kneels down at a partially opened door, looking inside. He and Tech lift the door, revealing a surgical pod.

“This will do nicely.” Rex says. 

“I would no longer call this medical bay a sterile environment.” Tech says, looking around. 

“Do you prefer to use the facility on Kamino?” Rex asks him. 

“This will do nicely.” Tech backtracks quickly. 

“I’ll calibrate the surgical pod.” Echo says inserting his scomp into the control panel. The lights begin to turn on, the pod humming to life. 

“Time to get scanned, Wrecker.” Tech says as Wrecker sits on the bed of the surgical pod. 

“Let’s get this over with.” Wrecker says, clutching his head. 

Hunter takes his gear, setting it to the side as Tech works on setting up his device. Omega approaches Hunter nervously, looking worried.  

“Hunter, just because the surgery worked on Rex, doesn’t mean it’s safe.” She says. “This is dangerous.” 

“It’s more dangerous to leave their inhibitor chips in.” Rex says. 

“We have to do this.” Hunter says. “It’s worth the risk.” 

“And what if something goes wrong? I’ll be left here with no one.” 

Hunter’s face softens a bit, finally understanding where her objection is coming from. He puts a gentle hand on her shoulder. “We’re not going anywhere, Omega.” He says. “You’re stuck with us for the long run. Besides, Midnight isn’t going anywhere.” 

“Yeah, what am I? Chopped liver?” She kneels down next to Omega, putting her hands on her shoulders. “I’m not going anywhere either. I’ll always be with you. No matter what.” She takes the younger girl’s hand, linking their pinkies together. “Pinky promise.” 

“What does that mean?” Omega asks curiously. 

“It’s a pinky promise.” Midnight says. “It means the promise can’t be broken.” 

Omega smiles softly at her before she throws her arms around Midnight. Midnight hugs her back, squeezing her gently. 

“I think I found something.” Tech says, looking at his datapad. “Ninety degrees from his right orbital floor, below the parietal and temporal intersection.” 

“Get that away from me!” Wrecker grunts out, taking the device off his head, shoving it against Tech’s chest. 

“Something’s not right.” Omega says, looking at him. 

“We need to speed this up.” Rex says. 

The surgery pod whirrs as it comes to life, Echo working faster to get it turned on. 

“You boys got lucky.” Rex says. “Very few clones were immune to the effects of Order 66. It’s rare.”

“When the regs attacked the Jedi on Kaller, we didn’t understand why.” Hunter says.  “We couldn’t save the general, but at least we helped the Padawan escape.” They move away from Wrecker, Omega following. 

Tech grabs the sedative. “Relax. This won’t hurt a bit.” 

He goes to inject Wrecker, but Wrecker grabs his wrist, stopping him. He reaches up with his other hand, grabbing Tech around the throat. 

“You’re in direct violation of Order 66.” Wrecker says, standing and lifting Tech off the ground. 

Midnight’s blood runs cold as she stares at them in shock. The chip must have activated. This is not good. 

Wrecker throws Tech against the wall, knocking him unconscious. He bends down, grabbing his helmet and blaster. 

“Wrecker?” Omega asks, trying to get through to the giant clone. 

Rex draws his blaster, pointing it at Wrecker. Wrecker knocks the blaster from Rex’s hand easily, Hunter grabbing Omega as they duck for cover. Wrecker fires at them, Echo blocking with a piece of scrap metal before ducking for cover. 

“He’ll destroy the equipment if we don’t get him out of here.” Echo says. 

“You’re all traitors!” Wrecker says, firing at them. 

“We’ll draw him out.” Hunter says. “Midnight, Omega, stay with Tech.” 

He throws a canister at Wrecker, the room filling with smoke. Midnight and Omega stay hidden, the plan working as Wrecker follows the other three from the room. Midnight crawls over to Tech, pulling the debris off him before rolling him onto his back. She shakes his shoulder gently, trying to rouse him. 

“Come on, Tech.” She says quietly, patting his cheek. “Wake up. We need some backup.” 

Tech groans quietly, shifting just a little. Midnight glances behind her, noticing Omega is missing. She curses, getting to her feet. She draws her blaster, peeking her head out the door. She can see Hunter’s body at the opposite end of the hall, limp on the ground. She wants to check on him, but she knows Omega is somewhere, likely with Wrecker close behind. 

She hears a clang from the opposite end of the hallway and heads in that direction. She sticks her head around the corner, the door to another med bay room open. She approaches slowly, blaster drawn. She likes to think Wrecker wouldn’t hurt her, but she can’t be sure. She may not be a clone, but she had deserted too. She’s still a traitor, just like them in the Empire’s eyes. 

Wrecker’s back is to her as she glances in the open door. She lifts her own blaster, pointing it right at his back. Her hands shake, but she knows she has no other choice. She fires, Wrecker’s body going stiff before it falls. 

Rex stumbles up next to her, holding the side of his head. “You alright?” He asks. 

She gives him a once over. “I should be asking you that.” 

Omega slams into her, wrapping her arms around Midnight. Midnight runs a hand over her head, looking down at her. 

“You alright?” She asks. Omega nods, holding Midnight tighter. 

They manage to get Wrecker’s limp body into the surgical pod, Tech a bit dazed but up and moving by the time they drag his body in. Everyone is a bit battered, but still alive as Tech begins the process of removing Wrecker’s chip. 

“Is it supposed to take this long?” Echo asks as they wait for the surgery to be over. It seemed like it should be simple, but then again, removing something from someone’s brain was probably complicated even for a highly specialized machine. 

“I’m not sure. I’ve never been on this end of it.” Rex says. 

Midnight watches over Tech’s shoulder, quietly memorizing every button he pushes, everything that flashes across the screen. 

“The procedure’s complete.” Tech says after a while, ejecting the bed from the machine. 

Omega puts her hands on Wrecker’s chest, shaking him gently. “Wrecker.” He doesn’t move. “Wrecker! He should be awake by now.” 

Tech presses a button on the console. “He is alive, but his vitals have not stabilized. We won’t know more until he regains consciousness.” 

“This could be a while.” Rex says as he and Hunter step away. “Why don’t you take Omega topside and get some air?” 

“No.” Omega says definitely. “I’m staying until he wakes up.” She pulls a chair closer, plopping down next to Wrecker’s side. 

Midnight straightens up, turning to face the two clones. “I’ll go then. I could use some air.” 

“Be careful.” Hunter says. “Stay hidden and try not to draw any attention.” 

“Keep a close eye on my surroundings and trust no one but my squad, right?” Midnight jokes. 

A small smile tugs at Hunter’s mouth. “Be careful. We’ll comm you when he wakes.” 

Midnight nods her thanks, heading out of the room. She wanders the ship a bit before finding the bridge. She can imagine it full of people navigating and commanding during a battle. She’d only been on a cruiser once during the war, and she’d been unconscious the whole time. 

She seats herself on an abandoned crate, staring out the viewports at the sky. It’s beginning to turn yellow as the sun gets lower and lower. They’ll be here all night at this rate. 

****

Midnight doesn’t turn as footsteps approach her. She’s been up here for a while, the sky beginning to go orange. She’s trying hard not to think too much, waiting patiently for word about Wrecker. 

A body lowers itself next to her on the crate, her gaze still out the window. 

“He talked about you a lot, you know.” Rex says, breaking the silence. “Cody was very proud of you. Whatever you did to help him, it must have really been something.” 

Midnight shrugs. “I think it was more the fact that I did help him.” She tugs at the fraying end of her sleeve that’s untucked from her glove. “Have you...heard anything?”

“Only that his squad shot down General Kenobi on Utapau. He succumbed to the chip, just like the others.” 

Midnight lets out a long breath, looking out at the sea of decaying ships. “I guess that was to be expected.” 

It’s quiet between them for a few moments. 

“How long have you been...” Rex trails off, leaving the rest of the question unasked. 

“Is it...that obvious?” Midnight stutters.  

Rex smirks. “I know those bruises on your neck aren’t from any fight.” 

Midnight flushes, pulling the neck of her blacks up slightly higher. “Three months after I joined the squad.”

Rex gives her a soft smile. “I’m happy for you. I’m happy for them.” 

“Thank you,” Midnight says, looking at him. “For finding us, for doing this. Losing Crosshair was...” She shakes her head. “If I lost any more of them, I don’t know what I’d do.” 

“I know you must have really loved him, if you put up with Crosshair for that long.” Rex smirks, but it quickly falls. “Sometimes we have to accept we can’t change things, no matter how badly it hurts.” 

Midnight stares down at her hands. Could he tell just by looking at her that she was already considering it? 

Her comm beeps before she can think up an answer, or attempt to play it off. 

“He’s awake.” Tech’s simple statement does have relief flooding through her. 

Maybe there is a chance after all. 

Taglist:

@amyroswell, @dangraccoon, @hunnythebee, @lokigirlszendaya, @kriffingmeshla, @storm-breaker7, @burningfieldof-clover, @6oceansofmoons

[spnexploration]

Pack chapter 3

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Sam Winchester x Omega!Madison

Series summary: Omega!Reader is thrown into a world she's not expecting when her mate turns out to be a hunter, and she's not used to Alpha & Omega Pack dynamics.

Chapter summary: Dean explains.

Chapter warnings: none

Word count: 1.1k

Series Masterlist | Supernatural writing masterlist

Part 2 <- -> Part 4

“You're telling me monsters are real?”

“Yes.”

“And you hunt them?”

“With Sam and Madi, yes.”

My mind was reeling. Dean was patching my neck, Sam and Madison waiting in the car so Dean and I could talk.

“Is- is that what you expect me to do too?”

“Oh, sweetheart, not if you don't want to. Madison doesn't always come, sometimes it's too dangerous and sometimes she just doesn't want to. And I'll be honest, I'm not taking an amateur into dangerous situations they're not ready for – if you want to join us, you're going to have to train.”

He took my hand, giving it a squeeze. “I know it's a lot to take in.”

I nodded. Tears started to well in my eyes, and I wasn’t even sure why I was crying. Dean gathered me into his arms, encircling me in a hug. I started to sob. It was too much. I'd been so scared of the Alphas, of the vampires, of running for my life. And now he told me it was worse! This was his normal life!

My sobbing started to intensify. Dean very gently touched my head and started to turn it. He was being incredibly gentle and I could have fought him off, but something in me let him move me. He turned my face into the crook of his neck, to scent him. He stroked my hair, gently holding me there.

I started to calm down. “That's it, good girl,” he cooed to me.

“What's on your mind?” he asked, still stroking my hair and encouraging me to keep scenting him. It felt reassuring, even though part of me felt that I should be fighting it, fighting setting a precedent for him controlling me. And I didn't know why his scent was so oddly calming.

“I just- it's a lot. Two days ago I didn't have a mate, I just lived my normal life. Today a vampire tried to drink my blood, a bunch of Alphas tried to kidnap me because I was in a forest rather than my normal, safe locations, and it turns out this is totally normal for my mate. Turns out my mate cuts the heads off vampires all the time!”

I took a breath then spoke in a much quieter voice, “I don't know what my life is now.”

He took a moment, then said rather stiffly, “It's not- you- you don't have to accept me. I know that what I do is too much, what I am. I'll understand if you want to reject me.”

The door to the motel room suddenly opened and Madison came in, saying, “Aaand that's my cue.”

“Madison,” Dean growled in a low voice, “Were you eavesdropping?”

“Sorry Alpha,” she said, not sounding very sorry at all, “But I can't let you screw this up any more than you already have.” I’d never seen an Omega challenge a Pack Alpha like this before.

Then Sam came running in, holding a bag of take-away in one hand. “Mads, what the hell are you doing? I thought you were in the car!”

The two Alphas had matching looks of annoyance on their faces, and I was surprised to see the Omega standing her ground.

“Hear me out,” she said, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Fine,” Dean said gruffly. He still held me to him, but had removed his hand from my head, and I was looking at what was happening.

“Look, we all know Dean thinks that he kills everything he touches and that this is the worst life, he wouldn't want anyone else joining it.” Dean clenched his jaw but said nothing. “We also know that Dean’s protective streak will be running into overdrive right now given what's happened today, so I had a very strong suspicion that he would volunteer to be rejected as a way of protecting his Omega. And I was right.”

Dean growled softly, but Madison continued unperturbed, “I'm not saying that Y/N can't make her own decision. But what I am saying is let's not jump to conclusions here. One bad day does not our life equal, ok? How about we all take some time, let Y/N see what it's actually like, maybe she could talk to the other Omega who actually lives it – me – before we go bandying permanent solutions about.”

Dean paused and then nodded to her once. “It's still Y/N’s decision,” he said, looking down at me.

“I- I think I want to do what she said,” I said hesitantly.

Dean gave me a small squeeze.

Madison’s demeanour became much more submissive and contrite. “I'm sorry I interrupted you, Alpha.”

“We will talk about this later, Omega,” Dean responded in clipped tones.

Sam motioned to Madison, “Come on, let's leave them alone.”

“No,” I said, then remembered I was standing next to my mate and potential future Pack Alpha and regretted being so bold. Everyone turned to look at me. I glanced quickly at Dean and then looked at my feet, embarrassed.

Dean gently stroked my cheek, “You can speak your mind, little one.”

“I just... it's ok, they don't have to leave. Um, unless you want them to.”

He chuckled, “It's your feelings we’re all worried about. Well, if they're staying, we may as well get comfortable.” Dean led me to sit down on the couch, and he sat next to me. Madison lounged back on one of the beds, her back against the headboard.

Sam came and crouched in front of me. “I owe you an apology, Y/N. I am so, so sorry that I forced your submission and especially that I struck you. Please know that I wouldn't have done it except that I couldn't see any other way to get those Alphas to let me leave with you.”

I’d never had such an apology from an Alpha before. His face was so sincere, he had lowered himself to my level, and it was like he was waiting for my response. Like if I said it wasn’t ok, it wouldn’t be. I was torn about how to feel about Sam and the whole Winchester Pack, again.

“Umm, that’s ok,” I said quietly, hesitant to make eye contact.

“I can’t promise I won’t ever do it again,” he continued, “but I will only ever do it if yours or Madison’s safety is at stake.” I nodded and Sam stood up. He went and sat next to Madison on the bed, and she climbed on to his lap.

“You wouldn’t think it,” Madison said, turning the tone of the room light again, “But half of killing monsters is being able to act. Wait till you see them in their Fed suits,” she said with a wink at me.

.

.

Tag list:

@mrsjenniferwinchester @lyarr24 @waynes-multiverse @leigh70 @malindacath @ellie-andthemachine @iprobablyshipit91 @123passwort @muhahaha303

[quietlyblooms]

plots please for my whole cast 🤧🫣 if u want!!

plots please | @hehosts

for your academy verse, i think it might be neat to sort of mash up chiyo's modern fantasy verses; originally, she's a witch who is killed and is then brought back as a vampire via her cousin naoki, but if it's something goro is capable of/would do, maybe he brings her back? and then she begins working at the academy as a teacher as one of the conditions of the deal he made with naoki. she's well-versed in spellcasting and has the ability of foresight, and even though she's only recently become aware of the latter, i could see that being a gift that man might be interested in! and yeah, goro's the one who'd be heavily involved at the beginning, but that opens the door to mess with ji-hun and deng, too hehe

you've mentioned that hina wouldn't be able to just allow another woman to get close or romantically involved with ren without butting in bc he's essentially all she has left in terms of family, and i'd loved to explore that tbh! the fact that ren's at the point where he's laid all his cards on the table for chiyo -- that says something, and i'd imagine it's only a matter of time before hina hears about her. chiyo isn't the type to be easily pushed around nor is she necessarily the jealous type, but it'd be really interesting to see how the two react to each other with their differing situations and relationships with ren.

as a small aside because i might forget by the end, i do think it'd be so cute to have chiyo meet kyosuke and ren's mom, too :' )) she's such a family gal that i know her heart would be so warm being around all of them, and i’d love to see how ren feels about it.

i honestly think it'd be interesting if chiyo's met both ji-hun and deng prior to ever meeting that man. running into ji-hun when he's checking in with ren, however brief, and it just keeps happening somehow; deng just appearing by happenstance bc he has business with someone else, but oh? this is that lady the rabbit's fond of! and as the desire to help ren grows, those two pop up more frequently just as chiyo begins to notice that red door, too, and whether it's all mere coincidence or not, it's kinda like she's being tugged in goro's direction. corralled, even. i guess this isn't as much a plot as just an extra detail to play with? so...

let's see chiyo complain to ji-hun about deng and ask how she can get him to leave her alone. she's genuinely kinda scared of him after their little chase; it doesn't matter if she just needs to play with him to avoid danger. she feels like she might actually be at risk.

let's see deng perhaps come to her aid, acting as protector rather than predator bc some dummy tried to attack chiyo on one of her many late night strolls. it'd be an interesting situation and complicated bc on one hand, she's always unsettled by his presence, but on the other hand, she should feel grateful. and you know deng is gonna manage to be at least a lil unhinged about the whole thing asdfg

and finally!! i've got my hands open for ren's au's -- you mentioned his incubus verse the other day, and why not throw chiyo's modern fantasy verse into the mix and indulge in supernatural shenanigans <3 i don't know if this would be the sort of situation in which she could summon him? whether on purpose or mistake asdf but there's that or the shop she runs at night that ren could wander into for a lil magical assistance. and since chiyo has a kny verse in which she's a kakushi, there's ample opportunity to explore their dynamic in that setting. let her tend to his wounds pls <3

[hello-nichya-here]

Maybe I'm stating the obvious here, but I think Sansa and Arya got some subconscious daddy kink (no shaming btw) because why else would Sansa fall for a man mistaken for her father and Arya is so attached to Jon, the Stark son who looks most like Ned. There's also Jon basing all his crushes on Arya, who unbeknownst to him, is like his bio mom, Lyanna, in both looks and personality. Overall, I find it very interesting.

As much I'm a total slut for a good Daddy kink, and would love some Sansan and Jonrya fics with that, I don't think that's what's going on.

Unlike something like Jon explicitly comparing his girlfriend's body to Arya's, when she's undressing for him so they can have sex, these other situations have some key differences.

Like you said, Jon doesn't even know Lyanna is his mom, so him being drawn to Arya, who has a simmilar personality to her aunt, doesn't strike me as his brain doing that level of freudian connections, but rather the simple fact that, as her son, Jon has things in common with Lyanna because one's personality is a combo of nature (aka genetics) and nurture - so naturally he gets along well with (and was originally going to fall for) a person that is a lot like the woman he himself resembles. It's more a matter of compatibility than having some complex about his mother.

The same goes for Arya liking Jon, who is a lot like Ned - who she also has a lot in common with. They also have the added bonus of feeling like outcasts. Arya doesn't like typical "girly" things, Jon is a bastard. They don't fit in, so they stick together. Of course they're closer to each other than to their siblings - all of which have lots in common with Ned.

Their looks are also not that relevant, because they are close friends, and were going to be into each other in the original plans, because of their personalities (See Jon liking Val and Ygritte, who look nothing like each other or Arya, but have the same kind of personality he's naturally drawn to) so them happening to resemble each other's parents is not really significant (even if it becomes funny considering they're cousins/siblings).

Sansa mistaking Sandor for her dad is a bit more sus considering all the romance themes in her dynamic with him, but the context in which it happens is one of their few interactions that does NOT have a romantic coding. People are scared of her wolf, Lady - aka one of the magical creatures that protect the Starks - and she's feeling unsafe around all these strangers that are looking at her weird, and some that ARE being somewhat thretening... and then Sandor Clegane, the Hound, comes in, and she assumes is her dad there to protect her. That is a role Sandor will take on A LOT. We even have Robert's famous quote when it comes to making Ned kill Lady "Give her a dog, she'll be happier for it."

If she had thought about the simmilarities between Sandor's physical appearance (aka the half of his face that has not been burned) or any of his Ned-like personality traits - which are not that many, though the ones that exist are important - in moments like when she's imagining him replacing her husband on her marriage bed, yeah, that could absolutely be taken as her having a complex. But that's not what we got.

The closest we got to Ned having an influence in Sansa's romantic choices, is her wanting someone who was like the ideal husband her dad wanted her to have - brave, gentle and strong. She consistently refers to Sandor as being all three (even if the gentle part can go out the window if he's triggered and/or drunk) but that is more a sign of her realizing her dad was right and that she would have been happier with someone like that than with freaking Joffrey.

Considering she's freaked out by Littlefinger, who IS very much trying to be both her father and her lover at the same time, I'd say that is simply not Sansa's deal.

Littlefinger is also why I think Sandor's features are more northern-like (besides representing Sansa eventually chosing the North over the South) - he "lost" Catelyn to both Stark brother's, and now will lose his replacement!Catelyn to a man that was literally mistaken as Arya's father, aka could easily pass for a Stark. It's just perfect.

But like I said, I'm 100% into that kind of thing, so if you ever find any good fic for these pairings with that aspect in it, drop the link.

[nitazenes]

What are your murder dreams about?

Hey

Good question

I don't know why I have this reoccurring dream but as a disclaimer I consider these dreams to be nightmares/night terrors. I don't enjoy them. In fact, they cause me a great deal of stress.

I've never had these dreams about another person except for once but these are mostly tied to my ex, she's on my DNI. Her name is Buffy. She did nonconsensual things to me when I was inebriated and couldn't give consent and overall she made my life a living hell from ages 15-21 which are like key fundamental years in life development and becoming a person and all that and I feel quit stunted.

When we broke up I lost *all* of my friends. Leaving me almost entirely alone with Graham (another name on my DNI) who had been abusing me for years at that point.

But the best thing Graham ever did for me was help me realize that I was staying with my partner out of fear of being alone.

When B and I broke up. Something snapped or switched in her because whe went from being somewhat reserved to bragging about going on a date and getting fucked 3 days after our break up

I never used to call her a rapist before because I didn't recognize the signs but she would use one of my touch triggers against me. It's a programming thing. But touch in that area, she discovered, would activate programming that made me submissive and encouraging of sexual behavior so. I didn't recognize this as the R word until later on. I was never giving consent even if I acted like I wanted to do it.

Anyway. Because of being manipulated this way. Being isolated, and my ex accusing me of things I didn't do and seeing my friends on social media saying they wish I'd die, I just shut down.

And then the dreams started. They always start with some sort of attempt to be diplomatic but it turns into her egging me on, something she did in pur relationship, intentionally making me so mad that she would act innocent and like I was crazy for being so angry.

I wasn't innocent BTW, this relationship was abusive on both ends. Mostly me being unmedicated and my BPD would make me rage at her. If she were to call me verbally/emotionally abusive. I would have to agree. I was. But I'm not that person anymore.

Anyway I had dreams about killing her every night. It would always start diplomatically but would turn into her ignoring me or egging me on to the point I would accidentally lash out and go too far and end up killing her

Those dreams haunted me for 2 years after the relationship ended but they went away for about a year. And then in 2022 she decided to DARVO and started calling me *her* rapist. Her story of what happened isn't coherent like there's so many plot holes. She's just saying it to garner more sympathy from her friends.

After these allegations, the nightmares started again. This time a lot more brutal and my intentions were set to kill her in those dreams.

The night terrors went away again until I experienced abuse from Ripley and Leah. Even though my issues were with other people, it was still always about her.

Last night was disturbing bc i had been making lunges at her with ol reliable (big knife I own) and she kept showing me her wrists which were scarred as if encouraging me to slash at her arms instead

That disturbed me enough to wake up.

My therapist tells me I have these dreams from repressed anger/trauma I experienced with her and also feeling the situation is out of my control like entirely.

Bc of this I have these night terrors but I must express again, they're just intrusive thoughts while I'm sleeping and I have no desire to actually hurt her or ever see her again

Just seeing the same type of car she had puts me on edge. I'd be more bound to get away from her bc she scares me. Rather than trying to harm. It's just a dream

An annoying one but a dream

[katyspersonal]

You expected an ask about Gehrman... but it was me, an ask about Maria, 002!

Not everyday I get to talk about her in length, yeah x)

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

002 | Give me a character & I will tell you

How I feel about this character:

I really like her, she is the kind of strong female characters that I appreciate; who can and will kick the ass of the scariest motherfucker in the setting (or at least try to) and shows stoicism and is so strong and noble, but have not lost touch with their gentle, emotional, compassionate and vulnerable side. I dislike the idea that strong = suppressing and weeding out the more tender side of herself.

These are LAYERS of the character, some even contradictory at the first glance. She can't be described with one sentence unless you make that sentence really darn long and fractured, because if you focus on one side of her you'll miss another that is just as crucial. She also rejected the cursed, questionable blood antics of her ancestry and turned onto being more regular hunter of Gehrman's type... and then rejected that too, seeing what she's became, and discarded her weapon! She strikes me as a person that really doesn't want to fight and kill deep down, but whose morals are just too strong to NOT stand up and fight for humanity; that was her initial intention, and that's what so hurtful about her fate.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Adeline or Rom - they both happen to be her 'type' of a woman, and ironically both tragically yeet into the next plane because they consider that sweet Insight better than whatever worth they have as humans ;-; I just imagine dynamic being a bit similar, only Rom is kind of bad with subordination and doesn't see Maria as someone 'above' (in status or self-esteem vice); meanwhile, Adeline has more shared interests with Maria and in the contrast of Rom being too deep in her thoughts would be more attentive (like bringing her tea, helping her to carry things despite Maria not needing any help, all that).

Brador - somewhere on the outskirts because it seems like they only have true chance in the Nightmare, but they're their worst selves in there (Maria is back to being a hunter, for one)... so yeah, it is either be bi do crimes together, OR better reserved for an AU!

Gehrman - I don't know about this one because even though within my interpretations they're basically Valtr x Yamamura but straight, this ship is just really hard to communicate because people will assume too many things about the characters. With everything I know, the Doll's appear means either that 1) Gehrman knew Maria better than anyone else in the whole setting, including the side of her that no one else saw or 2) Gehrman didn't understand her at all but is aware he might have RUINED her innocent side by training her to be ruthless killer too much. I lean towards 2 more, so it is a one-sided "ship", but 1 is basically a goldmine of emotions and ideas and I support that too!

Ludwig - they're both noble, knightly warriors with good intentions and eager to fight for humanity that did lead to their downfall in the end... Ludwig, however, falls for the same issue as Adeline and Rom; he is just too attached to something otherworldly to find a deep connection with a fellow human being, unless they worship the same god I guess? And that's Laurence -_- And the two don't even have a chance to find connection within Nightmare, because Ludwig is quite further from humanity there than Maria, Brador or Adeline!

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

hhhh Again, all of the above could qualify for this one too! But to not self-repeat, I'd say Crow of Cainhurst and Maria! Not to say I can't see the potential of a ship between them, but I am personally way more enthusiastic about them being basically like siblings since childhood! Just, being rather close, even though they'd have banters often and Maria would have to pull his hair for being a lil' dickhead to their more easily-scared and sensitive friends! Crow always been a little shit xD I think he also was very jealous and pouted for weeks after Maria left Cainhurst.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I believe that Maria [REDACTED] herself rather than was killed by Simon or something, but regardless, what we know before that was that she abandoned the hunt (discarded her weapon) upon guilt and regrets from participating in Fishing Hamlet's massacre, and resigned to being a caretaker for the patients. So, for that reason I feel like identifying her character with being super mean murderous super dangerous killing machine that likes blood and shredding and stabbing and killing and blood and killing and murdering and....... you get the point. I feel like it is tone-deaf to connect her character to THE thing she renounced in her character arc and that she regrets becoming. Acknowledging she is very strong and dangerous warrior =/= identifying her character as just that.

I try to shrug it off though because again, that character arc happened behind the scenes, and what we MEET in the game is a snapshot of Maria at her prime as a hunter. Not only most fans do not loredig far and interact on more casual level, but also duckling effect can be quite strong. Like, who will win: the arguably coolest battle in the whole game or a description of a weapon many players can't even get because of the stupid Shark Giants? You see what I mean!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I wish we got to see something of her in Cainhurst, like portrait, or finding an item that belonged to her... Something to help to resolve the timeline confusions of how long ago she left, what was her drip before Knights, just... just one little bit. But we won't get shit because that's infamous nebulous storytelling of FromSoft for ya. x)

my OTP:

I don't think I physically can choose between Mariadeline and Gehrmaria, I am skipping the move, sorry hsdfhds

my cross over ship:

I do not have a ship, but back when I discussed crossover between FMA (03 version) and BB, she did kick Tucker's ass, hope this helps

a headcanon fact:

I do not quite see Maria and Doll as separate characters! Maybe after you release soul of Maria from Hell, Doll has a chance to develop and regain her humanity, but my default status for the two is 'when one of them is asleep - another is awake, and vice-versa'. Both of them are basically effected version of the same person with missing memories except for very selective thing (with Doll it is to care about people, with Maria it is to no longer let the hunters torment the corpse of a dead sea mom). Both things that were Maria's strongest emotional anchors before death. But yeah, I think they do share the soul.

[casketscratch]

Trying so hard to remember today already.

- Woke up full-blown panic mode, shaking and breaking down crying, my entire left arm wouldn't stop shaking. Can't remember what the dreams were.

- Therapy was good. Went over how I broke down crying the moment we hung up last week, and generally the sense was that someone's trying to communicate or integrate a bit more. Something about our system isn't made for this to happen. It turns into levels, and layers of memories that will a common emotional thread but otherwise feel just scattershot or random. We've figured out that this alter trying is scared to, because they are "held in place" by...

- This terrifies me, but by an alter who was installed by our traffickers/my grandfather to keep the rest in line. I think this means the whole... I hesitate to say ramcoa. But it confirms the, ah, narrative? Hunch? That they did deliberately try to program alters. And there are "higher ups" in charge we can't speak to but who seem to exert a lot of psychic/mental pressure if others act out of line. Felt like I had a javelin in my skull by the end of session.

- Used to have debilitating migraines that felt exactly like that when I left for undergrad. Almost failed out because I "wasn't supposed to be there" - my dad had tried everything in his power to keep me from moving so far away.

- (I really hope he suffered for failing to do so.)

- We also talked about the "pass out and collapse" thing we keep doing. That one alter will try to merge traffic (if you will) and at the same time she holds so much pain and fear and trauma that she can only cope with feeling that much by basically freezing. Freezing so hard it's a shutdown. I'd honestly call it a kind of flight to an inner world more than that (not that it can't be elements of both).

I... Don't... Like this. I am struggling with the scope of abuse. I am struggling with being right when I wish I had been wrong. I am struggling with trying to even conceive of how to manage this. It's been weeks of not trusting my own reactions because I couldn't tell where they came from, and now, uh, well. Some very powerful gatekeeper (not unlike Orion!) who's aligned with our traffickers (very very very unlike Orion) and would rather kill us than let us succeed in anything?

Sort of like how this group preferred my aunt to remain totally unsupported and to die homeless a few years ago. That's what I was supposed to get. Except they could never poison me against my mom's side of the family enough, so... I didn't become their next "sacrificial lamb" or whatever. That's what it feels like those "higher ups" push for. Sabotage, doubt, sow a lot of internal chaos, keep superficial but upsetting things too of mind.

I was so exhausted I've just spent the last like 8 hours in bed watching Dropout to feel better.

I don't really know where to go from here.

Started guitar yesterday though. Immediately remembered SO much and a dumpster fire of memory snatches with it, and I think this might be both pretty fun and a good way to connect with those parts from back then.

[slashingdisneypasta]

i was WAITING! for you to make a "Would you rather?" of the Disney villains jsjajs i leave my answers, wanna know what would you choose??

Level A=

1 UF I'm not too sure because I'm getting interested in Jafar lately, but both of them could give good advice, but I'll go with Yzma.

2 The poison Apple just because I don't really like sharp things like needles, and just fall for it thinking is just a normal apple with something on top xd

3 Definitely Hades hahaha, I'd rather spend time with him and his sarcasm than Frollo's attitudes or arguments

4 I'd go for the favour I guess, I don't know what it would be, but a debt ugghhh.

5 I was going to say with Shere Khan until I saw it said as a human, I guess I'd be a bit better off with Scar, just in case.

6 Totally Lock, Shock and Barrel, even if they are troublemakers, I could take care of them better than Brutus and Nero.

Level B=

1 I know I'd lose completely to Shere Khan, and maybe I can escape from Kaa, I hope.

2 UGHH And yoou have to put them together! Jasjajs i'm going with Frollo in this one, i don't think i can't deal with Gaston

3 With Cruella of course!!! I'd like to be part of the fashion! And I'll see what happens in the future, although I don't think she would let me work with her too much if I show her how I hate what she do with animals

4 I love John Silver, so I'm sure I'll be with him, plus the good humour and advice he'll give me!

5 Although I know that Hook and Smee would be one of the few gentlemen and their crew that would move me around like a plaything, rather than the Shan Yu army and less the toon patrol

6 I mean, c'mon, Dr. Facilier for suuuure, no need to think about it with me jsjajajsja although if I find him in the middle of the night trying to get in I'd be super scared, and hopefully his gifts mean well xD.

7 It's hard for me to choose between the two of them because they have their things, but I'd choose Clayton, he has his ways of winning people over for sure.

OH!!! I ❤️ YOUR BLOG! And thank you so much for asking my answers! ^^ They're under the cut if you wanna read them ^^ Also- loving how colourful your answers are! ^^

I'm so glad to hear you're becoming more interested in Jafar!! I love him so much- if you ever wanna chat about him (Or any other Disney Villain), my asks are open! Great answer though- Yzma's far less creepy to have around XD 😅

3. Same!!

4. 'a debt ugghhh'- oh, exactly XD

~

I believe in you! Its worth a try, anyway!

Yes, I had to XDD Good answer, though!

Hmmm, she can just send you to do paperwork or get her coffee. Its alright, you still have a job XD

5. A plaything, huh? Oh dear 😅😅😅

7. Oh for sure- like @disney-android-foundation said, he's got that accent~ XD Haha

Thank you so much for sending in your answers!! They're great! ^^ Have a wonderful day ^^

Level A:

*sigh*... this is one of those situations where my heart overthrows my head 😅 I have to go with Jafar, he's my absolute favourite! And, @marinerainbow - Its okay, he wont marry my kid. The only one he's marrying around here is me XD

Cursed spindle ^^ Needles don't bother me and it reads a lot more better on stone that I was killed by an evil fairies curse then food poisoning.

Hades!! Like you said, he would be a lot better to spend time with then Frollo XDD

Same as everyone else, I'm going with the favour XD And I don't mind what is... like at all... (... now I am being dirty, sorry not sorry really 😅)

... ... Scar. At least his fur looks soft and I can pet it while he chews on me me-

Brutus and Nero!! I love them!! They just seemed kind of gentle with Penny, despite being vicious crocs! And they had personality despite not talking! And I just love crocs- the bigger and fatter the better.

Leven B:

Kaa. Even if he does catch me, I'll be hypnotised when he eats me- so it probably wont hurt. I'll just be sleeping. With Shere Khan, though... it'd hurt a lot.

Gastonnnnnnnnnn. Because at least he's hot.

Cruella as well! I love her, and I'm kinda claustrophobic so going down into sink holes for a living is not an option for me.

I'll take the pirates ^^ I wanna hang with Silver!

The Toon Patrol! Maybe if I act tough enough, but not out-right rude, and not rebuff Greasy's advances too much... he'll wanna keep me and Smartass'll let me be part of the group??? 😅😅😅 MAYBE.

I think it would be really fucked up and kinda interesting, having Gothel as your stalker/secret admirer, so I'm going with her. Also she's SO PRETTY.

Rourke ^^

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 13: Longlegs

Heeeey it's late.

Went out to see Longlegs with B, then had a late dinner, and went back to my place to chat and he left at something like 1:20 in the morning. Which I do feel bad about. Good talk though. I was trying to talk through things rather than around them for once as part of my quest to be a more communicative, open, and also curious person, and I think I was quasi-successful.

Anyway, the movie was.... good, I think? I liked it well enough while watching but I don't think it will leave that much of an impression on me. I was really into it in the beginning; I think the intro was very effective and the early scenes established an unsettling feel that I was very into because Deeply Unsettling is one of the brands of horror I like. The colors, the framing of the scenes, and the abrupt cuts were all definite contributors to that and the extreme abruptness of the early scenes made me think I might be getting into some psychological horror stuff, perhaps.

But the thing is... it didn't have much of a variety in tone. It was just the same level of tension fairly consistently throughout the whole thing, with occasional higher tension. It didn't have any humor or even character moments with maybe two exceptions. I had a hard time identifying with the stakes and so on, or anything outside of the visual interest of it.

I will say that that visual interest was significant; I thought it was quite beautiful and very much to my taste. There was a lot of a certain shade of dark blue that triggered something in me like a very old memory, in a pleasant way. I liked all the PNW-type scenery, the big sky, the long roads, the stark houses and tree branches. There were several scenes, especially early on, that effectively built tension through empty space--what could be about to move into that space? etc. It didn't have much for me in terms of big scares but there were several scenes I'd call deeply unnerving to the point of being scary: the intruder in Lee's house comes to mind, also visiting the farm during the thunderstorm. I thought the flash-memory while looking at the photographs was really, really well done and decidedly scary. And I liked how long it took to fully reveal Longlegs' face and the subtle ways they kept his face secret. Like oh I can almost see it, I can almost see it; I want to see, it I'm drawn to it; it's uncertain like old memory.

Like a lot of horror, it did falter for me when it started giving explanations and fully developing its story, or trying to. For me it was almost there, but not quite. Close but no cigar. Some aspects to me did not make sense (why continue killing after Longlegs' death?, for example, especially after making a big deal of 'freeing' Lee. Did the mother actually 'forget' or no?). Some threads seemed to be started but not concluded: like, the beginning made such a big deal of how the fathers are the instruments of violence, and yet Lee has no father and it's really the relationship with her mother/the concept of motherhood that's at issue ultimately. So is this like a misdirect? Feels like an opportunity to say something beyond just 'look what mothers will do for their daughters' was missed.

I think there was a slightly different turn that could have been made into the Satanism thing that would have made it better. When Lee says she never said her prayers because they scared her, I was mad convinced that the mom was a Satanist, and like... I wasn't wrong but I don't think I was fully right either; I don't think what I thought was happening was what was happening. The Devil is scary if you do it right but I just got the sense that the movie was very cursory in its thoughts on Devil worship, maybe a half-step up from just the general aesthetic of it. I would have rather the mom be a legitimate Satanist, and this be something Lee knows so that the twist is for the audience only, and cut everything about her coercion, that's weak sauce.

The dolls... I have mixed feelings on. On the one hand, they're very creepy, for sure. And magic rituals involving dolls is not a concept made up for this movie. But. I think they went maybe too literal with it? I don't know. It's not as good as it could be is my general feeling but horror almost always gets worse with explanations.

However, I do think Nic Cage has a super good time making this and I'm happy for him about that.

[so-bitya]

i really like what @delusinaldreamer19 brought up.

lizzy doesn't seem to be holding back in their fight at all, attempting to maim sebastian several times/aiming at his throat. However, fights in manga/anime are over exaggerated and characters could easily look like they're trying to kill each other when they're just playing around, so it's hard to tell if lizzy is just trying to ward him off or she seriously wants to harm sebastian.

I feel like lizzy does have a grasp on his strength though? She's seen him pull off impressive feats of strength (remember when he bulldozed all those zombies on the campania in front of her or when he stopped her from kicking ciel?) After he knocks her to the ground during their fight, she wasn't particularly shocked at how strong he was. She doesn't seem to care that he's an abnormally strong butler, she's just focused on not letting him through. Whether that means she knows he's a demon or not, i couldn't say...

I agree that lizzy is overconfident in her skills! I would say that it's less about believing she'll never lose with her swordfighting, and more about her stubbornness that she'll rather fight to the death than give up (like she was crawling in vomit still trying to stop sebastian, she's that tenacious). she was scared of the bizarre dolls on campania, but immediately stopped when she decided to fight back. lizzy isn't going to show fear on her face when she fights. (and the emotions focused during the fight was her sadness and confusion)

I do prefer her to know sebastian's a demon. like why not. it just lengthens the story unnecessarily if she was given a false story, has misunderstandings that need to be fixed, and then finds out the truth about sebastian (if yana wants to go in that direction). it's just easier to say lizzy found out the whole truth during her several months stay at the blue cult without having to detail everything the audience already knows. maybe she was given an embellished story to tone down the severity of what happened and make her easier to manipulate for undertaker's goals. but at the same time, the truth is enough for her to turn against sebastian? because sebastian being a demon and the contract is going to be the hardest thing for lizzy or any other character to be confronted with.

(on the other hand, maybe that's why I don't think she knows exactly that he's a demon? because it overshadows the twin reveal. if the demon/contract secret was reveal, it would only be supplementary to the conflict she's already having with the twins.)

personally for me it would just be so boring if she didn't learn anything new, or was just lied to again. because the whole point of the twin reveal is that the truth is so devastating by itself, there isn't a need to keep mixing it with lies now.

as well as if she was lied to again, it's almost trivializing her issues? like, "surely she wouldn't have reacted that bad if she knew the truth". it's a common sentiment in the fandom that lizzy wouldn't have switched sides unless r!ciel & undertaker lied to her, and she's dumb for having to listen to them instead of our protagnists (who are known paragons of truth....) I'd prefer o!ciel dealing with the consequences of lizzy learning the truth rather than him being blamed for something he didn't do.

Revelations?

Has the fandom discussed at all whether, at this point, Elizabeth knows the truth about Sebastian?

It struck me as I was reading through this part of the manga last night, how her level of rage at him is so much more than I would've expected from someone who is simply preventing access to her true fiance' and the mechanisms needed to keep him alive. She seems seething-no, boiling over with deep-seated hatred for the butler to me. Is she not more than guarding that door? Doesn't she seem to want to at least wound if not actually kill him?

And this is the kind of thing Toboso-san does so well. Do we agree that Elizabeth's fury as it is drawn here can be no accidental slip of the pen?

So I'm curious, what others think about this. What do we think is going through her mind in these scenes? Do we believe she's been told some nonsense to whip up her emotions so she'll be a good guardian? Has she been told of Sebastian's true nature? Does she know of his part in R!Ciel's death? Is she going to go home now and tell her brother and the rest of the Midford clan the truth about the butler and the twins? or some cock-and-bull story fed her by Blavat or one of the stars (and by the way what's happened to him? Did he fall down an inconvenient badger sett, never to be seen again or what?) We know a little of what she talked about with her brother on that ride home and yes, her biggest concern was her realisation of how shallow and misguided her previous feelings for Ciel had been, but what else did she learn and talk about in that brief interlude between homecoming and running away again? some folk I specially invite to perhaps answer: @abybweisse, @earlgreyandco, @oya-oya-okay, @kuroshitsuji-girls , @dorkshitsuji, @k-s-morgan, and anyone else still active and commenting.

Thoughts?

[unladylikc]

𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄:

the lover.

love has brought you to this place, and it will not let you leave. fear clutches you, constricts you, and it will have you killed– and yet, it is still no match for the bounty of your heart. you will try as hard as you can to protect the object of your affections. evil is nothing in the face of your warmth. even if you are successful in protecting your lover, that does not guarantee your own survival. your heart has doomed you, but what greater death is there than dying for love?

TAGGED BY: @s-talking​ ( thank you for mentioning me and giving me something else to queue other than a reply! to be honest, i didn’t wanna have it posted on the same day my partner replied to it even if i had nothing else i owe, so i was at loss on whether or not i should post an inbox call, a headcanon post, or a meme, but you ended up helping me decide... so again, thanks a lot! )

TAGGING: whoever sees this on the dash... you are now tagged.

[roscgcld]

This shit is about to hurt so please read with caution because I'm on my feels and my period which makes me a little crybaby...

Okay like I'm eating peaches and also studying geometry but... Dad!Nanami consumes my brain so much, it's the only thing I can think of!

Dad!Nanami whose voice is shaking so much and is at the verge of crying contrary to what everyone sees him as, when he sees you and his little baby girl.( I don't care what anyone says, I will always imagine that Nanami would be the girl father and an amazing one🥺🥰)

Dad!Nanami who never lets go of her and looks at her amazed. She is the copy of him, the eyes, the hair, the nose everything! Fortunately though, she at least have your personality.

Dad!Nanami who makes Gojo his daughter's godfather even though he acts like he hates him. But he respects Gojo so much and knows that if something were to happen to him, he would take care of his wife and daughter.

Gojo calling his goddaughter, his little kikufuku mochi and teaches her to hate the higher ups and gives her a little speech while she looks at him as if he grew another head and lightly slaps his nose with sparkling eyes. Gojo whines to Nanami that he is the one who encourages her to do that and even if Nanami is silent, we all know that this is true.

You know the tradition in which they put a few objects in front of the baby and the little cinnamon roll chooses one? Nanami's girl doesn't even hesitate, she doesn't care about the objects in front of her, she immediately goes to her papa's sword and touches it.

Everyone is delighted and kinda amused at the look on bot Nanami's and your's faces. Gojo exclaims that he is gonna have a little student from now on while Nanami is threating him. He puts her daughter away from the blade and hides it so that she can choose a normal thing for her career because he doesn't want his little girl to choose being a sorcerer. But this time she crawls to him while he is sitting on the ground and sits at his lap, pulling his tie as if to say that "No matter what, I wanna be like you."

Dad!Nanami being overwhelmed by her love for him but he truly despises the idea. He doesn't want her  to face the harshness of this world, doesn't want her to fight for her life not knowing when she could die because of a curse... He excuses himself for some time and in the meantime they try one more time and she goes to Maki and try to get her hands on her little blade while she freaks the hell out.

Dad!Nanami who will never forget the first time she walks and the first time she starts to see the curses. They are both at the the same day, she is waiting in front of the door since his arrival time came and yes, she knows his work schedule by heart 🤩 This is the reason why Nanami absolutely hates over-time because he knows that his little one will be waiting in front of the doos to be the first to greet him. He always disliked it and he hates it.

As soon as he walks through the door, his daughter clings onto his pants and looks up at him and he feels like his whole stress has been lifted. He goes to kitchen and kiss you and gives her to you but she also wants her father to be here so she flails but when she sees that he still keeps going, she lets out a high "Papa!" and gets out of your grasp and after a while, she stands on her wobbly feet and starts to have have her steps. This makes both you and him stop and gape at her. She is pretty happy that she now has both of her parents' attention😎

That night, Nanami goes to bed the happiest but both of you doesn't know that it is gonna be interrupted. In the middle of the night, his girl lets out a very high and scared wail, screaming for her papa and neither you nor Nanami ever got out of the bed that fast. Nanami immediately grabs his blade and dashes to her room only to find that a curse entered her room even though there were tailsmans around her room. His daughter is in rhe corner while the curse was slowly inching closer but before that Nanami kills it without mercy. When she sees you, she grips your shirt so hard while crying and saying that there was a big and hairy monster.

Dad!Nanami who accepts that his daughter can see the things he absolutely despises and explains to her the world they live in. After some time though, when he was certain that she would cry again, she asks a simple question. " Do you think I'd take after you and save the world?" in her own little baby language and Nanami, for the first time is astonished and amazed enough so much so that he couldn't speak. But his girl is playing with the hem of her PJs with embrassment but Nanami suddenly pulls her to his chest and squeezes her so much while muttering "I love you"s to her.

Spoiler Alert....( We all know where this is going but I jave another set of headcanons where he is alive because I will never accept that he died....🤧😭)

Dad!Nanami who is full of regrets because he will never be able to see his girl graduate, be an amazing young woman who inspires other, have a significant other. He would never be able to walk her down the aisle, never would be able to drive her to school, never hear her voice get higher when she talks about her parents.

Dad!Nanami who is full of sadness because he couldn't keep his promise to you. His promise of giving you a long and blessed life and family, his promise of going to Malaysia with you and his girl. His promise to cherish and love you each and every day till the day you both die. He regrets not saying you "I love you." before this mission. He knows that you are still fighging and for this mere reason her tries to do the same but he has no power. He has no other choice rather than trusting you two with Itadori and Gojo.

You knew when exactly he died. You knew because when he died, your heart stopped for a moment too. You couldn't stop the tears and the strong wail that passed your lips while collapsing, thinking what were you gonna say to your girl.

Itadori is the one who told you his last words, he wanted you out of this life, he wanted both of you to live and maybe it was selfish but you agreed. It was hard to explain it to your girl but suprisingly she said that he will never actually leave you to alone and that he will be watching over you both while hugging you.

And true to her words, she inherited his technique and wanted to learn how to use it so that she can be like her Papa. Only remains that was found were his blade, his ring and a part of his tie. She proudly uses his blade and has the part of his tie in a necklace while you wear both of the wedding rings.

And again, true to her words Nanami was watching over her with his friend Haibara. He was telling him what s strong girl she was and Nanami was only able to nod his head while tears were slipping from his eyes, muttering a single apology with a little threat as if she can hear. "Don't you dare die, little clover." And at that moment, she suddenly looks up to sky and promises to both of you that she will live. Right at this moment, Nanami realises that the bond you three have can never be broken and he can only pray that he will have you as his wife and his girl as his daughter in his next lives one more time...

jjk spoilers ahead!

....I am on my period too so now I am crying? Like I shed a few tears ?????? How dare you do this to me?????

I-

I swear - some of yall deserve to write more than my dumbass does. LOOK AT THIS AMAZINGNESS THAT IS A NANAMI ANGST???

[marengogo]

I started this blog because:

I wanted to interact with Rosie (akookminsupporter)

I felt reassured knowing we had Euna (dalloga)

I was so FREAKING curious about Ororo. So much so that event though the person I wanted to interact with was Rosie, you were the first I followed.

In my case, curiosity didn't killed the cat; it gave it live. I'd heard of you from other sources and as I read your first post; I was so speechless to say the least. The logic application, the situation consideration, the honest evaluation. It got to a point where I would load pages on my old phone so that i could read them on my way t work.

You need to understand that my experience as a baby ARMY was OUTSTANDING. However, my experience as a baby Jikooker was FAAAAAAAAR from good. It started with YT and ended when I realised that MOST of the jikookers around me were HELLA TOXIC. I was so naive to it all, trusting that nobody would lie to me to push an agenda, because why would they? I could FEEL that there was something going on with jikook so, I assumed everyone around me did the same, in the SAME WAY.

Yet what happened, was that, my little pansexual ass thought I finally found a "couple" I could believe in, because ARMY felt so genuine, so why would Jikookers be any different? I QUESTIONED NOTHING. In my mind, Jikookers knew the truth and I just had to follow and apply my logic and I kid you not, when my brain had moments where the math wasn't mathing, I would just use fantasy and make the math work, because I must have been the only one who didn't see it; when majority around me did.

Eventually, it got to a point where narcissist Tae (diagnosed and all) was trying to harm gullible Jimin; and it all made sense! And then, my final drop; Tae and JK were plotting to make JM suffer- more Tae than JK obviously. At that point my head had a weird confusion and epiphany. My ARMY brain was like "THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING?" and my Jikooker brain was like "... I mean, like ... If Jikook, then why???..." I was so confused, argued with jikookers and eventually up and left YT, because my brain was just not on the same wavelength anymore.

While recalibrating my "maknae parameter" I stumbled into Ororo's blog upon suggestion from the only jikooker I trusted at the time. AND ... I was flabbergasted. Many of the Jikook moments that were so cute to watch but which I was too scared to voice as just casual, she also described as so, and blog after blog, my brain was just finally at ease, because it felt like it finally found a brain it can finally relate to with regards to Jikook; THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL.

I believe that JK and JM have something more than a platonic relationship, mainly because of the few things I can't explain way, but somehow understand, rather than the plethora of moments that I'd love to purposely associate, but which many a time are just that; a moment. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of moments when I love being delulu. The joys of life you know! But in the great scheme of things, I'd rather find out that jikook were actually just a beautiful dream than a forced nightmare, dressed as a dream.

On this platform, you are my safe space. So I will miss your brain, your kindness, your bangtan love, your yoonmin adoration and your genuinely human YOU. If you come back, hoorah for my brain, if not, I'll always drink to you and your happiness.

I genuinely care for you Ororo, so even though I think that none of what I wrote made sense 😂😂😂😂 my love for you those.

Always respectfully yours 💜💜💜.

Marengo

I'm Stepping Away For A While...

Over the past week, and then some, I have been called a multitude of names in an effort to make fun of me and rude names including wh*re, p**sy, bitch, a liar, a fake, etc. I've been told I'm a fake/bad ARMY, a fake jikooker, etc. Ive had people call my friends deragatory names and misgender them. And I've also had someone in my DMs try to gaslight me into believing that this was not harassment or Bullying, but that I should apologize to my followers for threatening to block people and that people were just expressing strongly worded commentary over how my actions hurt them. And that I needed to take responsibility for creating the drama at all. And none of that is okay, and honestly it's been a lot. And the way people just brushed over the name calling and harassment regardless of if they disagreed with me or liked me, that was a lot too.

Blocking people to curate my space is not harassment or bullying or disrespectful. Its simply protecting myself and trying to curate a safe space for me personally. Nor have I ever started a hate campaign to try and drive another blogger off the platform. And if a post of mine encouraged people to send messages or hurtful asks to someone else, and I KNEW about it, I would've said something and asked them to stop. Sharing an opinion or disagreeing with someone is not me sending anyone hate. Nor would I ever want that for anyone regardless of any disagreements we had over whatever topic.

I've lost quite a few followers over the past week, people believing things that are being said and that's fine, i was never here for the numbers anyway. Id rather you unfollow or block me peacefully if you dont like me or my posts. Some of the people engaging with this hate against me were honestly surprising. But it is what it is. But I don't feel safe in this space anymore. I honestly haven't for a while. Blogging isn't as fun anymore. I don't want to post while it feels like a chore. And that's not because of anyone or anything in particular. I opened this blog because it brought me joy and it was fun. And it's really sad that something that brought me happiness is no longer doing that for me. It's not just all this drama either. It's probably been awhile coming, making my timeline posts for longer posts felt more like something I had to do for you all instead of something I wanted to do for me. And that's not what I want for this space.

So I'll be stepping away for awhile. When or if I come back will depend on if I can get that joy back for doing this and I feel like this can be a fun corner of the internet for all of us together again. And also for if I feel like I can do this without it being so mentally draining and just not good for my mental health like it has been lately.

I'll leave my blog here and my masterlist because I know that a lot of people enjoy the archive of some past content I have cataloged there. I don't want to take that away from anyone for that reason alone since I want people to be able to access that content if they can't otherwise find it. I also want the option to be able to come back to this blog again at some point. So I don't want to delete it or say I'm stepping away permanently, nor do I want people wondering what happened to me or anything. I just need a break. I do apologize for all the post series I have started that are remaining unfinished now for a little while.

If you want to unfollow me knowing that I'll be absent from here for awhile or for any other reason, that's totally fine. Honest. No hard feelings. I wish you well and hope everyone will continue to do well and enjoy the next few months of music, content and love from the members. Maybe I'll try to be back in time for JJK1 whenever that happens.

Again, this is just something I need. I'm okay, I'm not hurt or upset. I just need a break. I appreciate you all understanding. I'll still be in this fandom and be ARMY for life. I'll still be around for the next day or so. Thank you for understanding. I do love you guys and hope to back as soon as I'm able to.

[latteunwoo]

friendly rivalry || j.ww + k.sy

↪  What happens when two best friends end up going after the same girl? Will one of them be able to win her heart? Will their friendship be in danger?

pairing: oc x wonwoo; oc x hoshi; oc x ??? (wink wonk you'll see at the end)

genre: fluff; humor

A/N: Request from @hazelbean13. Do note that most if not all of the content are not real/accurate because this is an AU (Alternate Universe).

seventeen m.list || main m.list

-

Out of everyone in their friend group, Hoshi and Wonwoo are truly the closest. In fact, some might say that they are exactly carbon copies of each other. They've always liked and done the same things.

For example, when they were little, when Hoshi got the new gaming console for this birthday, Wonwoo just had to get the same one for his birthday so they could play together.

Another example would be when they were in high school and joined both the soccer team as well as the gaming club because they didn't want to spend a second of their after school time without each other.

Of course there are some things one likes that the other dislikes and luckily because of that they've also never liked the same girl. That is until they met Hazel.

Hazel was about two years older than them. The first time they met her was during their college freshman orientation when she just so happened to be one of their facilitators. They didn't know what it was, but there for sure was something about her that caught their eyes.

At first they didn't know that they happened to be crushing on the same girl. However, once the both found out that they liked the same girl, Hoshi wouldn't let Wonwoo live after that.

"Did you talk to Hazel today?" Hoshi asked as he quickly sat down next to Wonwoo while some of the other students in the library quickly shushed him for talking too loud.

"Why are you asking me?" Wonwoo asked as Hoshi's smile grew wider.

"Because I talked to her today and she said that I was her favorite."

"Favorite what?"

"I'm actually not sure because she just said I was her favorite but I'm pretty sure that I'm her favorite freshman at least. Has she called your her favorite before?" Hoshi teased as Wonwoo just let out a small laugh.

"Yes, she has actually," he said as Hoshi gasped.

"No way! I don't believe you."

"Ask her yourself. But I'm pretty sure she's just nice to everyone."

"Are you saying she's lying then?"

"No, I'm saying that she probably tells that to everyone else because she doesn't want to upset them and also because she kinda has to be nice to all of us since she is an upperclassmen and they're supposed to set a good example for us."

"Valid. But I still think she actually did mean it when she said I was her favorite."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, I always talk to her and she always says that she thinks I'm funny-"

"Funny looking," Wonwoo said as Hoshi was about to snap back but was stopped by the sound of Hazel calling out to the both of them.

"Hey guys!"

"Hi Hazel!" The two said as they both turned to wave towards her as she walked towards them.

"Are you guys still helping out at the fair tomorrow?"

"Yeah, we'll be there!"

"Great, thanks! You're the best!" Hazel said as she reached up to pat both of them on the head before walking the other way, "I'll see you tomorrow then!"

"Did you hear that? She said I'm the best," Hoshi teased as Wonwoo just let out a scoff as he rolled his eyes at the older boy.

"Correction, she said that to the both of us so technically-"

"Yeah, whatever," Hoshi interrupted Wonwoo as he started walking away, "We'll see tomorrow who she thinks is better!"

"This isn't a competition though..." Wonwoo said to himself as he followed Hoshi to their next class.

Come the next day, Hoshi was more than ready to kill two birds with one stone by not only proving to Wonwoo that he is Hazel's favorite but also try to win her heart.

"Here are all of the decorations for our booth," Hoshi said as he set down the last two boxes and stood up proudly.

Hazel couldn't help but let out a small laugh at how cute he was, "Perfect, thanks Hoshi!"

"You're welcome," Hoshi said as his face started heating up. Although everyone calls him Hoshi, it just felt different when Hazel called him that.

A few moments later, Hoshi came back with Hazel's hydroflask filled with fresh cold water.

"Here, I refilled your hydroflask for you!" Hoshi announced as Hazel turned around to see him holding out her hydroflask.

"Oh, thank you," Hazel said as she took the hydroflask from Hoshi to take a sip of water, "You didn't have to, but thanks."

Hoshi smiled widely once again when she patted his head before walking away to help out some of the other students with organizing their booth.

Wonwoo let out a small laugh as he watched the interaction between Hazel and Hoshi, "He really is trying hard to get her attention."

Unlike Hoshi, Wonwoo wasn't very forward with trying to get Hazel's attention and luckily for him doing nothing worked just fine as she had praised him for doing a good job even though he didn't really say anything.

"Nice job, Wonwoo! I didn't know you could draw so well," Hazel praised as Wonwoo was currently painting some cats onto their booth.

"Oh, thank you," Wonwoo said as he turned around only to jump at how close Hazel was to him.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," Hazel apologized as she slightly moved back to give him a little space as Wonwoo felt his heart start beating a little too fast than he wanted, "I just saw how good of a job you were doing and wanted to watch!"

This went on for the rest of the day, Hoshi doing anything and everything to get Hazel's attention and Wonwoo doing the bare minimum but still somehow managing to get her attention.

"I think I'm winning," Hoshi announced proudly as Wonwoo just let out a small laugh.

"This isn't a competition, you know?"

"Everything is a competition to me."

"How do you even know if you're winning? Has she said anything to you?"

"Well, no-"

"Exactly. Also, stop being so forward, I'm pretty sure she's starting to feel uncomfortable with how forward you're being; I would."

"No she's not-"

"Why don't we just ask her who she likes better to get this over with?"

"That's actually not a bad idea, why didn't we think of that earlier?"

"Because you were too busy trying to get her attention every second."

"True," Hoshi said as he quickly looked around to see if Hazel was anywhere around. As soon as he spotted her, he quickly started waving at her to get her attention, "Hazel!"

"Oh, hey guys," Hazel said as she quickly walked towards them, "What's up? Is everything alright?"

"We have a question for you," Wonwoo said as he looked over at Hoshi to signal for him to ask it.

"Which one of us do you like better?" Hoshi quickly asked as both him and Wonwoo were eager to hear the answer.

"What do you mean? I like both of you!" Hazel said as she smiled and patted their heads.

"What we meant was, if you had to-"

Before Hoshi could finish his question, a very familiar figure started walking towards the three of them.

"Hey guys! Hey love," the man said as Hoshi and Wonwoo's expressions quickly fell when they saw the guy put his arm around Hazel's shoulder and place a kiss on the top of her head.

"Hyung," Hoshi and Wonwoo said as they looked at the older boy Seungcheol who happened to be the captain of the university's soccer team.

"Wait, you didn't finish your question, Hoshi," Hazel said as she looked back at him and Wonwoo.

"Oh, it's nothing! Nevermind. Forget I even said anything!" Hoshi quickly said as he grabbed Wonwoo and dragged him the opposite way.

"What was that?" Seungcheol asked as Hazel just shrugged her shoulder.

"I don't know. They're pretty weird, but cute."

"He's her boyfriend!" Hoshi yelled as him and Wonwoo were finally out of Hazel and Seungcheol's view.

"I told you it wasn't worth trying so hard," Wonwoo said as Hoshi just let out a small laugh.

"You act like you're not affected too."

"Touche, my friend."

"Well, at least that's settled. I'd rather lose the girl than lose my bestest friend in the world," Hoshi said as he tried to give Wonwoo a hug but Wonwoo quickly swerved his reach.

"You were literally ready to do anything and everything including risking our friendship over her," Wonwoo said as he started walking the other way and Hoshi started following him while apologizing.

The end.